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#Sotn smooze series

However, it is soon discovered that Abner has secretly saved two shmoos, a "boy" and a "girl". On Fatback's orders, a corrupt exterminator orders out "Shmooicide Squads" to wipe out the shmoos with a variety of firearms, which is depicted in a macabre and comically graphic sequence, with a tearful Li'l Abner misguidedly saluting the supposed "authority" of the extermination squads.Īfter the shmoos have been eliminated, Dogpatch's extortionate grocer Soft-Hearted John is seen cackling as he displays his wares-rotting meat and produce: "Now them mizzuble starvin' rats has t'come crawlin t'me fo' the necessities o' life!! They complained 'bout mah prices befo'!! Wait'll they see th' new ones!!".

#Sotn smooze series

Roaringham Fatback, the "Pork King", become alarmed as sales of nearly all products decline, and in a series of images reminiscent of the Wall Street Crash of 1929, the "Shmoo Crisis" unfolds. Having discovered their value ("Wif these around, nobody won't nevah havta work no more!!"), Abner leads the shmoos out of the valley-where they become a sensation in Dogpatch and, quickly, the rest of the world. "No, stupid", answers the man-and then encapsulates one of life's profound paradoxes: "It's because they's so good!!". "Shmoos", the old man warns, "is the greatest menace to hoomanity th' world has evah known!" "Thass becuz they is so bad, huh?" asks Li'l Abner. (This character is never seen again.) There, against the frantic protestations of a naked, heavily-bearded old man who shepherds the shmoos, Abner befriends the strange and charming creatures. Abner is thrown off a cliff and into the valley below by a primitive "large gal" (as he addresses her), whose job is to guard the valley.

In a sequence beginning in late August 1948, Li'l Abner discovers the shmoos when he ventures into the forbidden "Valley of the Shmoon" following the mysterious and musical sound they make (from which their name derives). At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their shmoos. Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however.The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.

Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children.

In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks.

They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste.

Their pelts make perfect bootleather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.

They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter-no churning required.

Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself-either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak.

Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten.

They require no sustenance other than air.

They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits.

Cartoonist Al Capp ascribed to the shmoo the following curious characteristics: It has a rich gamut of facial expressions and often expresses love by exuding hearts over its head. Its feet are short and round, but dexterous, as the shmoo's comic book adventures make clear. It has smooth skin, eyebrows, and sparse whiskers-but no arms, nose, or ears. A shmoo is shaped like a plump bowling pin with stubby legs.